Is It Them or Is It Me?

In every relationship be it between a spouse, a co-worker, a family member or friend; there are bound to be occasional conflicts. When you find yourself faced with the seemingly unresolvable conflict, you need to honestly ask yourself, "Is it them or is it me?" We fallible human beings have a natural propensity whenever there's a problem to lay blame everywhere but at our own doorstep. It's always the other person who's being unreasonable, unyielding, insensitive, stubborn etc. etc.

Let me caution you today, before you point a finger at the other person, remember the word of the Lord. "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone." (John 8:7) Examine your own heart, your own emotions and ask yourself..."Is it them or is it me?" The key to any good relationship is communication. Everyone always assumes communication means talking to (or more often than not) talking at the other person. In reality communication is more about "listening". We must learn to seek God's wisdom and ask him for divine discernment, so that we might be able to really hear not just with our ears but with our hearts; what the other person is really trying to say. We must ask God to give us the patience to first be silent so that we can hear, and then enable us to respond not with passion (in the heat of an argument passion is usually more about anger than love) but with compassion.

I believe if we strive to respond with compassion we will find it easier to have empathy for the other person's point of view. I believe when we start to do less talking and more listening we'll begin to hear and really understand the real reason for the conflict, and then and only then can we can began to work on a resolution.

I know what you're thinking, what about the other person? If the relationship really means anything to you while you're praying and asking God to give YOU wisdom and patience, you'll ask Him to do the same for THEM. But you have to start somewhere, why not start with yourself?

To borrow a very profound statement and lyric from the late great Micheal Jackson (God rest his soul) start with the man/woman in the mirror. If you want to make YOUR world a better place, take a look at YOURSELF....and make a CHANGE!